i awaken today feeling an inner sadness that a long held dream, a dream of 9 months, a dream of 22 years, is going to be stillborn… and so on the daily pilgrimage to the eye surgeon, i am already knowing that he will say this outer journey is out of the question, the next 2 weeks are critical for saving my eye, i must be still…

i was born still, in moments of crisis, it is my coping strategy par excellance, i live in stillness, yes, even this i am thankful for trusting in Beloved’s divine orchestration, grandmother spider woman’s wonder filled weaving of the web of life…

i do so love exploring inner space and so, yes, again i surrender to love, to being love, to beloved…